Of Bald Men and Bears

Jacob,

I think we need to find you a girl.

Bethany--
I use Pentel R.S.V.P. pens with a Fine point. These are the absolute perfect pens. First, they aren't fat and clumsy like Pilot G2s are, but they also aren't too thin to scratch up your paper. They work well for detailed work such as writing in Bible margins as well as in class note situations. Furthermore, they can be converted quickly into something that looks like a cell phone. (I'll have to show you how that works, but it's sort of difficult to describe. It was all the rage in 7th grade.)

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Lindsey and Grant--
I doubt I need a girl. I've survived through most of over twenty years without a girl, so I doubt my head will explode or something if I don't have one. Besides, did we learn nothing from Joshua Harris? Finally, if I had a girl, I might not have as much time to spend with my pens and Mr. Sippy.

Grant,
Some advice. Most girls don't want "dominating" to be the first thing that comes to mind when they're mentioned. Actually, that's true for guys too, as far as I can tell. I suggest "kind," "courageous," or "funny" as safe alternatives.
my .02

Um, yeah. I really do not want to be seen as "dominating," regardless of how complimentary you meant it to be. "Assertive" is alright, but the image I conjure up in my head of "dominating" is loud, domineering, and rather obnoxious. I know some dominating girls and I'd rather not be put in that group.

And nope, I wasn't exactly volunteering, but I must say as a proposed dominating personality, that I wouldn't want to go on a date with someone who simply sat there and agreed with me the entire time.

Andrew, good advice. However, I think "funny" is overused (I get sick of hearing it) and something a bit more original would be a better substitute.

Jacob,
The only thing I learned from Joshua Harris is that if I do the courting thing, I won't get the benefit of Sunday afternoon rides in a buggy.

The material point of finding said girl is spending less time with Mr. Sippy and your pens, the inanimate friends who cannot communicate with you as a girl could. Who knows, maybe she'll have a Mrs. Sippy and all will be well.

Several comments/questions:
I believe the movie is _The Importance of Being Earnest_, but as we saw at the FACT tournament, my knowledge of that play is far worse than I would like to think it is.

What are rollerball pens? I'm all about having an open mind about these sorts of things, but you would have to do quite a bit of convincing for me to leave the pens I love. I had to divorce certain pens earlier this year (the G2s) because they simply weren't up to the task as my Pentel R.S.V.P.'s were.

I completely agree with Lindsey with her comments on a dominating personality. Funny stuff there! :)

Darth Sidious--I really hope that's you, Bob. If not, I would suggest other methods of wooing my affections. I sometimes don't take well to the stalker tactics.

Ben--If you know anything I don't, let me know. I will be at Wal-Mart in approximately 15 minutes buying out their stock for the rest of my life. Second, please don't ever call my cell phone at 11:00 at night again. Granted, I should have had it turned off, but I about had a heart attack, and it took me longer to get to sleep. :)

A Mrs. Sippy does have certain advantages...Hmmm...That means more coffee!

Update:
Ben--I saw the note on my board outside my room. No worries, friend. All is forgiven for the cell phone incident!

the movie is "You've Got Mail". It's one of the few movies I can quote.

I want to name my coffee mug.

Of course it's You've Got Mail! I feel so stupid. Kathleen Kelly can't be with anyone who has a boat, which makes Joe Fox say something like, "Well, that's it. We could never be together. I have a boat." I believe this is during the outdoor restaurant scene.

I am so pathetic--I have read The Importance of Being Earnest more than any other play, and I don't know its lines. Moreover, I have seen You've Got Mail more than any other movie, and I don't know its lines either. I may have to rent the latter this weekend.

Sigh...

You'd better invite Grant to this romantic comedy movie fest, he needs some new lines.

blast, foiled again by karen! k, you beat me to it...of course bethany already knows that i could name that movie, so i won't get too bent out of shape over it...sigh.

"Don't be ridiculous, son. Have I ever been with anyone that fit that description? Have you?"

true, bethany...good call.

after all, who can forget the great "Password" triumph of '01?
business...briefcase
falling...parachute