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Letters from the Underground

As I have mentioned earlier on this blog, I work at a used textbook warehouse. Sometimes, students tuck pictures, ticket stubs, or letters into their textbooks, but forget to take those things out before they sell their books back. (We even found a birth certificate once!) Our favorites to find, though, are letters. Below are two of the choicest letters we have found so far. (If you like these, I have another, but it's much longer.)

Disclaimer: I am not making these up, and I am typing them verbatim from the originals, even retaining spelling and grammar errors. Enjoy!


Dear Jack,
I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy--will you let me be yours?
--Jill
I KNOW IN THE PAST I'VE CAUSE YOU PAIN, AND I'M SORRY. AND I'LL ALWAYS BE SORRY TILL THE DAY I DIE. AND I HATE THIS PEN I'M HOLDING, BECAUSE I SHOULD BE HOLDING YOU. I HATE THIS PAPER UNDER MY HAND BECAUSE IT ISN'T YOU. I EVEN HATE THIS LETTER BECAUSE IT'S NOT THE WHOLE TRUTH. BECAUSE THE WHOLE TRUTH IS SO MUCH MORE THAN A LETTER CAN EVEN SAY. IF YOU WANNA HATE ME, GO AHEAD. IF YOU WANNA BURN THIS LETTER, DO IT. YOU COULD BURN THE WHOLE WORLD DOWN. YOU COULD TELL ME TO GO TO HELL. I'D GO. IF YOU WANTED ME TO. AND I'D SEND YOU A LETTER FROM THERE.

Sincerely--
Jordan

Labels:

I think the first one is a joke letter. I mean, Jack and Jill?

But the second one, from Jordan? That. is. awesome.

We wanna read the other one!!!

Yeah, we wanna read the other one!! (We hate these letters because they're not the other one.)

I want to read the other one too!

Jordan's letter? Awesome, like Bethany said. Particularly, "you could tell me to go to hell ... and I'd send you a letter from there."

I know him! That is from Jordan Catalano. To Angela Chase. And so really from Brian Krakow.

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