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It begins

The ramparts that have so long protected my Gmail account (that is, my super-secrecy about the address on unsecured channels) have been breached: I have begun to receive my first pieces of spam. On one hand, I'm now able to let go of the breath I've been holding since getting the account some time in September. On the other hand, I think I now know something of what Adam and Eve must have felt (although surely on a much lesser scale) as they looked back on their old, safe, and free home to see nothing but forbidding cherubim and a sword of flames.

So, that's the era I now enter: the era of receiving everything from flames to advertisements for supplementing supplements, signs pointing to nothing more than innocence forever lost.

The culprit? My preliminary investigations have left me with but one suspect: The Facebook, where I posted my Gmail address instead of my Yahoo! address (jgerber_02@yahoo.com), where I already receive around 100 pieces of spam a day, and which I will give to anyone for any reason whatsoever.

Therefore, I must be all the more vigilant in protecting my Gmail address. I have changed my Facebook profile. I am considering lobbying the legislature for a law to prosecute those who pervert e-mail. It is high time to cry "Havoc!" and let slip the dogs of war.

Still, I fear that all my efforts may be for naught. I shudder to think that the war-tables have been suddenly turned: it is now I who fight the uphill battle, storming their ramparts, tousling on their turf. Even so, this epic struggle must be fought not only for our generation, but for all epochs to come.

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Wow.

what? you don't like my ISTUD?

Bethany--
First, congratulations on keeping your Gmail account clean. I noticed that you used a different e-mail address on your Facebook profile, which seems to suggest that my hunch was right on source of the leak.

As far as the post title, I guess I'm going to have to settle for the "not quite AS clever. ;)" option--I was thinking more generally of a we're-about-to-go-to-battle themed line, and although LOTR would have been very influential in the choice, I was not specifically thinking of it.

However, in perhaps another uphill battle to save face here, I would like to point out that the "cry 'Havoc!' and let slip the dogs of war" was a direct quotation from Shakespeare's Julius Caesar (3, 1, 276). Furthermore, I was quite pleased with the "flames" and "epic/epoch" puns, and the "supplementing supplements" line.

I guess you can't win them all.

Microsoft has taken up the fight! Our cause gains strength!

Hooray for Microsoft! The defender of the little guy! Oh wait....

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