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Fall Membership Drive

You may have noticed that Jacob hasn't posted anything lately. You may have thought he was just busy (or lazy) but in fact his online absence is a part of our Fall Membership Drive. Jacob's absence is a small taste of what it would be like if Of Bald Men and Bears ceased to exist. We're 100% reader-supported, which means we're also 100% ad-free. (Check out RandomShirts.com!) In order to continue bringing you our great content, like "My Tribute" and "Ewe-NL", we need you to pledge your support. Send us money and iTunes gift cards, or even cookies, and we'll keep bringing you ad-free blogging. If you pledge at the $500 level, we'll use $400 of that to buy you a crappy mug or something to send back to you. Even if you join at the seventeen-cents-or-any-other-change-I-can-find-in-my-car level, Jacob will begin posting again.

Current Pledge Members:

Jodie Foster (pledged at the Movie Star Fortune level):

"Of Bald Men and Bears provides some of the wittiest social commentary of the day. And they speak French!"

Ben Keele (pledged at the First-Born Child level!):

"I love how Of Bald Men and Bears keeps me up-to-date on the latest legal proceedings!"

Yitzhak Rabin (pledged at the I'm-dead-but-I'd-sure-pledge-if-I-could level):

"Of Bald Men and Bears has played the central role in the Middle East peace process."

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I'll pledge some cookies, in the flavor of your individual choices.

I ain't posting anything for cookies. We want cash. Cold. Hard. Cash.

Well maybe if you would get some nerve and get your THREE THOUSAND DOLLARS that you are still owed, you might actually HAVE some cash.

I'll become a member if you give me the cold hard cash you owe me from last year's FACT. ;)

And what about that prize I was supposed to get a long time ago?

And what about that $50 you owe me, Jacob?

(It was worth a shot anyway.)

This blog never mentions legal proceedings! And that guy does not look anything like me!

Okay...I will admit that my offense is rank--I owe lots of people money and parliamentary journals.

First, I want you to know, Lindsey, that I just e-mailed my contact in the deal; hopefully she'll get back to me soon.

Second, I think it's high time for a movie outing for the FACT tournament team (and anyone else who wishes to go). I will pay my debts (that is, to anyone to whom I owe them) and be restored to society.

Third, Anne, I haven't forgotten about your prize (although that would certainly be hard to determine from your perspective). For whatever reason, in the shuffle of stuff from my dorm rooms to Hastings to my duplex in Lincoln, I have somehwere misplaced all the promised parliamentary publications. I would, however, be willing to give you a copy of "Robert's Rules of Order for Complete Idiots" by my friend Nancy Sylvester and "Robert's Rules of Order Newly Revised In Brief" by the RONR authorship team to make things even. What do you say?

Fourth, Andrew, your soon-to-come royalties from "Jurassic Park, The Musical" should be more than enough to cover my debt to you.

Fifth, I think it's really funny that Ben is more upset about the lack of legal proceedings on our blog than he is that he has pledged his firstborn child to us.

Is everyone happy now???!!!

Jacob, I hope you don't think that I spend long nights wondering where the heck my promised prize has gone. I actually hadn't thought about it in a long time. You really don't have to track me down to give me the new prize if you don't want to...

But I'd be happy to accept what you have offered if it would ease your mind.

"Jurassic Park: The Musical" royalties be damned! I'm not happy till I get my fifty bucks!

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