More letters...
Back by popular demand, here's the letter I really liked. As something of a disclaimer: (1) this is perhaps the saddest letter I have ever read, which is partially why it's so funny; and (2) I have done my very best to exactly duplicate the original punctuation, spelling, attempts at subject/verb agreement, etc... For example, apparently this young Jane Austen didn't feel it necessary to use many periods. Also, she inserted random words that, for the life of me, I cannot interpret in the context of what she is saying. Just so you know.
Jarron,hey baby whats good? well not too much here just sitting here thinking about you like always but baby you know I love you so much but we have to do something like you said to keep our relationship interesting you know? Cause if we want what we have to grow we can't let our flame go out we have to keep the flame going. you know everyday i think about us and our future together you just earlier today i was thinking about what i would be like if we was to get married in a couple year, and what our kids would look like. and as i look at us i long for that future for us, and i know we do all the things i do like talking to my friends on the phone probally erk your nerves because it easy to talk to them when you see them all day, then talk on the phone all day and night, you say what i'm saying like you was saying before maybe we shouldn't talk or be around each other much and see what happens give it a little space. because i love you and i dont want to lose you because we done got tired of each other. or maybe we should make a list stuff we like about each other or dislike, cause then we can change some things but you have to be willing to do this. baby give me some ideas on how we can make what have last, for like forever! i want you to be the guy i marry spend the rest of my life with you and only you, and have the perfect life of love and happiness. but first we have to start with now we have to work on the trust issue too. but we'll talk more on it later. baby i have a lot of stuff i have to get over and i need you to take time with me cause i know you expect me to act all grown and stuff but i can't do that all the time. you know i been through a lot of s*** that you don't know about and i been trying to tell you for the longest but i'm scared. baby i'm scared to tell anybody, and it's not because of you it's because of me and i need you to be there for me. to let me know everything is going to be ok even though times might not be so good. i just need you to love me like no one else does. all i want is love and a little attention. baby it's crazy how much i love you. i love you so much you couldn't ever know. and baby as for the whole prom thing well i feel that you really dont want me to go but i decided to go anyway cause i wanted to go and i think the only real reason you want to help Pearl is because you want to watch me because you think i'm up to something but i'm just going to have fun, pretend i'm a friends girl because i'm just nice i guess because he's a little well you know, and basically kick it with my "2005" friends together 1 last time thats it. but you say thats not why but it doesnt matter either way cause i want to be with i just want you to trust me and my judgement and let me go, and don't be mad ok! i mean you get to spend all my free time with me now i just want to kick it with my peoples! [Note: author changes pen color from black to purple at this point] But I had make a change just to end this so bye BABY. I LOVE U!Love You Always,
[Name withheld to protect the naive]
Jarron,hey baby whats good? well not too much here just sitting here thinking about you like always but baby you know I love you so much but we have to do something like you said to keep our relationship interesting you know? Cause if we want what we have to grow we can't let our flame go out we have to keep the flame going. you know everyday i think about us and our future together you just earlier today i was thinking about what i would be like if we was to get married in a couple year, and what our kids would look like. and as i look at us i long for that future for us, and i know we do all the things i do like talking to my friends on the phone probally erk your nerves because it easy to talk to them when you see them all day, then talk on the phone all day and night, you say what i'm saying like you was saying before maybe we shouldn't talk or be around each other much and see what happens give it a little space. because i love you and i dont want to lose you because we done got tired of each other. or maybe we should make a list stuff we like about each other or dislike, cause then we can change some things but you have to be willing to do this. baby give me some ideas on how we can make what have last, for like forever! i want you to be the guy i marry spend the rest of my life with you and only you, and have the perfect life of love and happiness. but first we have to start with now we have to work on the trust issue too. but we'll talk more on it later. baby i have a lot of stuff i have to get over and i need you to take time with me cause i know you expect me to act all grown and stuff but i can't do that all the time. you know i been through a lot of s*** that you don't know about and i been trying to tell you for the longest but i'm scared. baby i'm scared to tell anybody, and it's not because of you it's because of me and i need you to be there for me. to let me know everything is going to be ok even though times might not be so good. i just need you to love me like no one else does. all i want is love and a little attention. baby it's crazy how much i love you. i love you so much you couldn't ever know. and baby as for the whole prom thing well i feel that you really dont want me to go but i decided to go anyway cause i wanted to go and i think the only real reason you want to help Pearl is because you want to watch me because you think i'm up to something but i'm just going to have fun, pretend i'm a friends girl because i'm just nice i guess because he's a little well you know, and basically kick it with my "2005" friends together 1 last time thats it. but you say thats not why but it doesnt matter either way cause i want to be with i just want you to trust me and my judgement and let me go, and don't be mad ok! i mean you get to spend all my free time with me now i just want to kick it with my peoples! [Note: author changes pen color from black to purple at this point] But I had make a change just to end this so bye BABY. I LOVE U!Love You Always,
[Name withheld to protect the naive]
Labels: Fun
I have learned three things from reading this letter.
1. Never date a guy named Jarron.
2. Nobody puts Baby in a corner.
3. That it's okay if I want to kick it with my peoples.
I think you should have titled this post "Baby, bye bye bye!"
Posted by
Lindsey |
11:12 PM
Hey, I love it too. Patrick Swayze's pants are amazing.
Posted by
Lindsey |
12:55 AM
Hmm. Maybe I should have a talk with Ben about how we need to keep the flame going. In the meantime, I'll kick it with my "2005" friends. :)
Posted by
Christy |
8:08 AM
P.S. I noticed that both you and Andrew list Sigur Ros in your music lists. At the regional conference I went to in May, one of the lectures related an analysis of Sigur Ros to interpretation of Debussy. It was fascinating! (I'm such a geek, and can't wait for school to start...)
Posted by
Christy |
8:13 AM