Of Bald Men and Bears

Threeve?

No, but thanks for playing!

Very close, but still not it. Thanks for playing!

Postpone indefinitely.

Ding ding ding ding!!!!!

Wonderful! You win the prize--

An autographed copy of a National Parliamentarian (the journal of the National Association of Parliamentarians) in which I had an article published: "How to Teach Parliamentary Procedure Youthfully"; also, an autographed copy of a Parliamentary Journal (the journal of the American Institute of Parliamentarians) in which I had an article published: "Will the Real Majority Please Make Up Its Mind?" I'm sure those journals with my autographs will be worth millions some day.

I'm not really sure how to get them to you, but I will (unless you don't want them--I won't be offended). Sorry the prize isn't better, but the fun was in the game, right?

By the way, how did you find the answer? I was able to find it within two clicks of a Google search, so I didn't think the question was too hard, but Andrew told me that he thought differently.

I'm going to write a post-contest entry about all of this soon. I hope everyone has enjoyed this very special post.

I'm disappointed. Where were the major life transitions? Where was the drama? Where were the tears? "Very Special" my arse. The Punky Brewster VSE (Very Speical Episode) was better.

And all this time I thought the Very Special Prize was a gavel, personally autographed by Jacob D. Gerber in gold gel pen.

Andrew--
In my defense, this whole thing seemed a lot cooler at 4:00 a.m.

Lindsey--
I have trouble letting go of cheap Wal-Mart pens, and you think I would give away a gavel?

Yep, the old Google ploy worked wonderfully.

What the heck, I'll accept the prize. Hmmm... how to get them... are you coming to movie mayhem again? It's this Friday - Action/Adventure night! If not, we can figure something out. I mean, we go to the same school for crying out loud.

Maybe if it were chick flick night, Jacob would go.

Anne--
No, unfortunately, I am unable to make it to Movie Mayhem. I have another commitment during that time. Also, I don't have the copy of the National Parliamentarian with me. I am going home during Thanksgiving, so I will pick it up then for delivery.

Lindsey and Grant--
First, such movies are "Romantic Comedies," NOT "chick flicks." (Notice even how I capitalized one and not the other.) "Chick flicks" are movies which have little to no humor, but are just sad and depressing and are designed solely to play on women's emotions. (The antithesis to this sort of movie would be something like "Braveheart," which is designed solely to play on men's feelings of masculinity.) "Romantic Comedies" are witty and amusing movies that generally idealize love, but more guys can enjoy Romantic Comedies than chick flicks.

And no, there isn't much action in Princess Diaries (and the acting isn't great, and the plot is contrived, etc...--happy now?), but I still think that it is an enjoyable movie. Granted, there are far better examples of Romantic Comedies, and, given a choice, I would prefer to watch the better ones, but there are a broad range of such films which meet an acceptable aesthetic standard in my book.

Bethany--
Good points. I suppose this is sort of a scale, where action movies are more toward the male end, and romantic movies are more toward the female end. The nice thing about Braveheart is that is has both action and romance. I particularly like the line at the very end where the posthumous William Wallace refers to his fellow Scots as being "warrior poets"--men who fight as well as love, and who do both passionately. (And I've only read half of "Wild at Heart"!)

For me, I suppose I need to put the most work into the warrior side of this ideal man. That's why I picked up "Kill or Get Killed" at Love Library today. It was put out by the U.S. Marine Corps in 1992, and it has all sorts of great diagrams and descriptions of how to kill people (or at least incapacitate them for varying degrees of time). Props to Andrew for finding this one for me. It's extremely practical tips include how to kill enemy sentries (with or without a weapon) as well as how to defend yourself from various kinds of attacks. Here's a good example: "KILLING AN ENEMY SENTRY: This is the best method of surprise knife attack taught in the Armed Forces. Approach from the rear, grasp the nose and mouth with the left hand to prevent outcry, and thrust the knife into the kidney area...After a short interval, withdraw the knife and cut the throat."

Or here's another timeless favorite: "Sitting Neck-Break. If your opponent is sitting in a low-backed chair, approach him from the rear. As you pass by, on the right or left side, and are opposite him, with the arm nearest the victim reach across and under his chin, with the hand coming around the back of the neck. From this position, a contraction of the arm muscles plus an upward and backward jerk, will cause his neck to break instantaneously. It can be done almost without breaking your stride." (Emphasis added--that's such a cool line!)

I can't say I'm surprised Andrew found that book, considering his post of old on the strange death of miners.

I would also like to say that Braveheart is #2 on my list of favorite movies. Perhaps it doesn't inspire me to higher standards of masculinity, but I enjoy it all thoroughly.

And never fear Jacob, your sense of masculinity is not dependent on Wild At Heart, thank goodness. Otherwise my femininity would be dependent on Lady In Waiting. Disturbing thought.

Dry penis sizegenetics Dry and flaking sizegenetics inside the penis can often lead to soreness if left untreated. Dry sizegenetics can occur for the reason that result of friction from sex or from sensitivity to certain cleansers in addition to the sizegenetics that are often found in condoms. Treating the sizegenetics which has a moisture-rich formula (shea butter is often recommended by dermatologists for sensitive penis sizegenetics) can help to keep the sizegenetics smooth and supple so you can retain its natural hydration.Penis rash Penis rash, which may result from dry sizegenetics, sensitivity to chemicals such as soaps or sizegenetics, or fungal infections, may cause soreness, itching and discomfort.
http://sizegenetics-reviewx.tumblr.com/