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Word of the Year

While I suppose it is a bit premature to decide the Word of 2005, I think we can safely assume nothing better will arise over the next eleven months.


Pronunciation: 'swEt-"mEt
Function: noun
: a food rich in sugar: as a : a candied or crystallized fruit b : CANDY, CONFECTION

While the dictionary definition does not allow for this usage, I hereby designate it also an exclamation, as in

"Sweetmeats! That dog is missing two legs!"


"For the love of sweetmeats! Where have you been?"

This year's runner-up (which ties in nicely with winner): "confection." (BTW, "confection" is much funnier in the context of late-night Wal-Mart escapades that involve a discussion of toenail health with a Wal-Mart clerk.)


I'll uh, have to try that one tomorrow. But discussing toenail health with a Wal-Mart clerk? I mean c'mon, who does that? It so was not me who was empathizing with LaDwana of Checkout lane #5 last night about how its just, y'know, next to impossible to cover up those Clearasil on-the-spot patches under a lot of makeup.

Was I involved in that late-night Wal-Mart conversation? I can remember purchasing fingernail clippers and then having some bitter clerk rant and rave about how only rich people need actual toenail clippers, but I don't remember confection coming up in that context. Sweetmeats, she was mad!

"Confection" was involved rather indirectly with that whole affair. Before the toenail conversion, Grant and I were frantically searching the aisles for some form of confection, until we lighted upon a six pack of cinnamon rolls, full of sugary goodness.

Ah, yes. I remember the night well. We took Agnes with us to go to Wal-Mart, didn't we? That was one of her best trips. Sad.

Agnes isn't doing so well these days. I don't know if she's going to make it or not. Nothing's been the same since she decided to blow up while I was driving her on the interstate.

enter it at www.pseudodictionary.com

Ah confections, those were the good old days. I believe Jacob was off buying green tea, or something of the sort.

The toenail clipper episode started when I posed the question of why anyone would need both fingernail clippers and toenail clippers. Seriously, are people too lazy to clip their big toenail in a two stage process? I mean, I think the fingernail clipper actually allows for more shapping of the toenail at the whim of the user. Isn't this the freedom the great US of A was built on? If 10th grade World History with Ms. Cassata taught me anything(besides that electrolysis is underrated) is that the toenail clipper was at the foundation of communism.

Actually, I was under the impression that it is primarily men who require the use of a specifically toenail clipper, since women are able to use their fingernail clippers for such a task. Apparently your species has massive, thick, toenails requiring a tool in similar strength to a jackhammer.

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